too many things happened in the past few days, i don't know how did i pull through it. although i can reason out things and logically tell myself i should not be doing what i'm doing. but saying is one thing, been able to do it is another.
i saw a girl with a sunflower in her hand today, it instantly reminded me of the day when he bought me a bunch of rose just to surprise me, i was so happy that day. memories of a year and 3 months. so many things, so many happiness, sadness... how can he put up a smile to take photo with her... and he seemed really happy... maybe.. it started very long ago already.. i don't know.. i need to move on, i need to...
i do not want to face the reality.. really.. i'd rather believe that i'm dreaming.. or i have found out nothing at all. but you, the two of you, your truthfulness just torn me apart totally. how do you expect me to treat you like the past? i am not blind... even if i try to ignore the topic, you bring it up over and over again.. what do you want from me, really?
here's a song dedicated to you, i missed you.

第一次拥吻以前我们找不到语言
但听见彼此灵魂多渴望永远
贴心后嘴角的甜摩擦后眼角的咸
一起懂爱和真爱的差别
你送的杯子里面还装着温热感觉
你给的每个纪念都排在窗沿
相机是牵手两年围巾是东京五天
戒指是又哭又笑的道歉
我不相信你心中现在她最美
你不会你不会你不会把我们的爱踩碎
我不相信你口中会讲出后悔
你不会你不会你不会不心疼
我拒绝被看见的泪

当初被激烈反对你安静却没妥协
对我更好来瓦解别人的偏见
我生气失踪几天我倔强口不择言
是你紧抱我当情绪沉淀
我不相信你心中现在她最美
你不会你不会你不会把我们的爱踩碎
我不相信你口中会讲出后悔
你不会你不会你不会不心疼
我拒绝被看见的泪

我不相信重来的幸福在脱轨
你不会你不会你不会留残酷让我面对
我不相信累积的回忆都损毁
你不会你不会你不会舍得我
留一滴想乞讨的泪



cheer up girl, you'll get over it. but how long? the passion we shared, the feeling we shared.. is not something that anybody can give. i feel like i have no heart now, it's hard living on like a zombie. should i give it up?...
i really cannot believe you fell in love again. so fast...

i'm so confused.
big bang - Lies


i'm so sorry but i love you, i just cant lie but i realise now, it was such a mistake to let you go,i'm so sorry but i love you




ye (love is pain)
to all my brokenhearted-people (come again)
one's old a flame
just scream my name
and i'm so sick of love songs
ye i hate damn love song
the mental power of ours

深夜下起雨 我又想起你
我在潮湿的记忆深处挣扎
我下定决心说没有你我也能好好的生活
可是还是做不到
借酒消愁的我痛苦到夜不能寐
也依然觉得没有你的日子过的太煎熬
我祈求让我彻底的忘了你吧(是谎言啊)
没有你的我失去了笑容
泪水也干枯了
不想再这么活下去了
莫名的发火 你觉得我疯了吧
我说想见你 你却说不可以
I'll be right there
你说都结束了I'll be right there

i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 曾经不懂 现在明白了 我需要你
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you说着伤人的话的我 不知不觉的失去了你
i'm so sorry but i love you i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you离开我的你 请允许让我慢慢忘记你 让我也感受到疼痛
我曾经为你唱过的那首歌 包含了我对你的全部感情
(大概其他的人不会知道吧)
除我以外没有任何人知道 (是的 我曾说过的都是谎言)
孤单一人的我
带着那幅颓废不前样子
(hey)
口袋里紧紧攥住意味着分别的纸条 (hey)
(你在哪啊 叫你的名字已经成为了我的习惯)
我要改变
现在让一切都一笑而过

i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 曾经不懂 现在明白了 我需要你
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you说着伤人的话的我 不知不觉的失去了你
i'm so sorry but i love you i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you离开我的你 请允许让我慢慢忘记你 让我也感受到疼痛
oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh 希望一切都是梦
oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh 我只有这点愿望
至今也无法忘记你 一生也无法忘记 至死也无法忘记
我带给你的伤疮愈合了吗 对不起 我什么都不能为你作
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 曾经不懂 现在明白了 我需要你
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you说着伤人的话的我 不知不觉的失去了你
i'm so sorry but i love you i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you都是谎言 i'm so sorry(*2) but i love you(*2)
i'm so sorry but i love you
i'm so sorry but i love you离开我的你 请允许让我慢慢忘记你 让我也感受到疼痛

IT'S FINALLY HOLIDAY. although this holiday is going to be filled with projects and stuffs.. maths remedial.. but. it's still holiday! not having to wake up at 5.30 everyday feels good. :D

Picked up Left 4 Dead recently. it's a zombie shooting game. haha. it's the first bloody and shooting game i play. guess it must be attractive in some ways to make me wanna play it :D been going to the Lan newly opened near my area and met a bunch of cool L4D friends there, i learnt a lot from them =). thank you Mark! Dan and Joe too =) haha not forgetting Sunjay and his "handbag" of red liquids =X

and my audition Family too. they've been treating me nice. and i found someone i really like, as a couple. he's nice, kind, caring, mature. i'm so thankful that we met at the recruiting room that day. maybe this is called fate? xD donny, i hope we would walk a long way. with the constant caring heart we have for each other. we'll make the best audition Couple! <3 ya. thank you for staying by my side and keeping me company for the past few weeks, smsing me even though you're at a school camp. <3 again. hehe...



To Myself:

after been sad for all this while. i feel like i could move on. afterall, he's treating me cold already. maybe worse than a friend? i think it's time for me to wipe dry my tears and be more focused on what i really want in life. my hair's growing longer and longer, as much as i would like to cut it, to try something new, i cannot bear. maybe because i want the memories? I picked this song to be a final goodbye, although it might not be really suitable.. but at least i want to believe it this way~ i always used to say, if i collected the amount of tears i cried for you, i'm probably able to fill a bottle. and today. i will close that bottle. so that i can move on, not needing to think of you anymore. or at least try not to be too sad over it.. afterall. like you said, it's the past. we should move on. you're going in army in a few days' time. and i think probably we will never see each other again... maybe that is. my happy ending.

here's the song. i will wipe all my tears off when today is done. and believe the ridiculous lie : tomorrow will be a better day. believe it for one day. at least. haha..

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过
曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流


althou i'm not promising you. but i will promise myself. i'll live happily, do not let the tears flow for nothing~
cest le vie~

cheer up girl. you will get over it. <3

it's been... so long.. since i last posted. i know. and tons of things happened during this period. i'm lost. so much so that i cannot remember how i was like last time. fuck sia. really fucked up. i had so much to say the past few days. but right now. i'm speechless again. i'm all alone at home for tonight. lol loll.. how pathetic. been soaking myself in games and all. my exams are killing me. maybe it's results that will kill me. not the exam itself.
life has been so weird. realli realli weird. weird to the point that i dunno how to live the life anymore. everything seems so strange to me. i really have no idea what to do now. it sucks. sucks!!!
i know , i grown fat, uglier. no body want me. including you. but it's okay. i shall juz be alone. live in my memories that are lost....................

it's, september 19.
almost a month since i last posted.
lol. i guess i am really a suckkish blogger. irresponsible, haha
but i really got no acces to computer often enough for me to have a heart to blog tat often. oh well , no excuses, it's still me who din post for so long. haha
my birthday has already passed, for those who noe @_@
it was a wonderful one, finally , i din have to suffer this yr's birthday like the last. but still, at night i quarrelled with my mama badly and i cried. T_T
haiz. mayb someday i should close this blog down to private blog and write all kinds of crap inside for my own enjoyment. LOL!.
my best friend is drifting apart from me. sad. i told her to come find me and she said : for what? sian.
what a....irony. and somehow because of this i don really like geoffrey. first bcos of his name and WTH is : i think we don meet up for the time been, cos i wan spend more time with her". wth is that??? lol say until like we're dating secretly???
which is totally retarded. haha. friends, meet to study, hang out, what's wrong.
and yl was emo last nite, tried to call her but couldn't get thru...
i hope everything goes fine for her. god blesses you, YL. you're a nice gal. and i say what, ur tat senior don worth you. from my convo with him i don really find him a very nice guy. maybe he's popular, but not tat nice actually. keke.
today is FRIDAY. yes can go home after school and enjoy the holiday. i say what, maybe i should close my blog now to private. so that... the teachers cant read my posts. =)

stoning in the com lab...
am i really that slack?
does slack really matter that much??
..............
if you don wanna stay close with me cos i'm slack..
i don need you there i think~
a true friend can accept everything about their friend, be it good or BAD.
and i'm already improving. what else do you expect me to say.
i CANNOT BE BOTHERED.
sucking day isn't it...

分隔两地
发表于：2008年6月30日 21时27分30秒来源：阅读(14)评论(2) 举报本文链接：http://user.qzone.qq.com/365687184/blog/1214832450

分隔两地
每天早上男友会准时出现在楼下，给她个热气腾腾地蛋饼；
每一个阳光灿烂地周末，他们可以牵着手一起逛街，为彼此精心挑选衣服，或是礼物；
每一个晚上，他们都会在宿舍楼前依依惜别，男友会为她竖好领头，裹好围巾；
一起吃饭，一起自习，在没人的小道上亲吻；
他们可以感受到彼此的心和呼吸，可以不用任何言语，只是用眼神表达爱意就足够。他们可以哭，可以闹，可以肆无忌惮的撒娇，可以在对方生气不接电话的时候，捧着玫瑰礼物守候在楼下。
他们可以做的事情真的很多很多，多得自己都没有发现。而有的情侣都不可以……
有这样一群人，他们的爱情隔着千山万水，他们承受着旁人不曾品尝的感受，只因为他们知道在那个遥远的城市，有着自己想要的幸福。
他们不能陪对方逛街，只好把礼物一次一次的寄过去；
他们在对方难过时，只能用苍白的短信给予安慰；
对方无助时，只能手里握着电话努力的听对方的呼吸和哭泣的声音。
他们需要温暖时，也许只能翻看往日的短信，在夜里蜷起身子，抱紧自己，告诉自己，我们在一起；

看着其他恋人成双成对，自己心里一阵难过，最多只能发条短信，告诉对方，我想你了……
可是，这该死的爱！还是有那么多的人飞蛾扑火般的扑来！他们坚信时间，距离都不是问题，他们可以忠诚！王菲唱道“爱到飞蛾扑火，
是种享受。”虽不一定是享受，可他们愿意！

他们会时时担心对方有没有吃饱，身体好不好，开心不开心。
看到件好玩的事情，第一时间与对方分享。
自己难过了，只是到论坛上去发发牢骚。
他们最浪漫的事情莫过于一年一次的见面，甚至更长的时间！
见面时的欣喜，离别时的痛苦，
每一次的见面让他们的感情得到升华，让彼此的爱更多一分。那短短的两天，是美好的，可以让他们一直回味，直到下一次的见面！

“距离是一份考卷，测量相爱的誓言，最后会不会实现。我们为爱还在学沟通的
语言，学著谅解学著不流泪，等到我们学会飞，飞越黑夜和考验，日子就要从孤单里毕业，我们用多一点点的辛苦，来交换更多一点点的幸福。”




this post and the prev ones are taken from my brother's blog... these few days too many things happened.. again... and my mood is sucking to the core... haiz. i miss him, i miss the good times we had and i had in china. i wish i don't have to come back to sg to face so many problems... my birthday is just 15 days away and i'm looking forward to it.. hopefully it'll be much much better dan wat i had last year... for those who noe my story.. haha...T_T

[转]转载：笑了，，北京高考的零分作文..............笑到抽了........
发表于：2008年7月20日 21时31分18秒来源：阅读(15)评论(0) 举报本文链接：http://user.qzone.qq.com/365687184/blog/1216560678
本文由 子叶子 发表在： 子叶子

[转]转载：笑了，，北京高考的零分作文..............笑到抽了........
题目:“细雨湿衣看不见，闲花落地听无声”是唐朝诗人刘长卿在《别严士元》中的诗句。曾经有人这样理解这句诗：1、这是歌颂春天的美好意境。2、闲花、细雨表达了不为人知的寂寞。3、看不见、听不见不等于无所作为，是一种恬淡的处世之道。4、这种意境已经不适合当今的世界……根据你的看法写一篇作文。题目自拟，体裁不限。字数800以上。





　　盛夏，夜，深夜。

　　景山山颠。

　　山上有人，两个人，一男一女。

　　这两人就是当今武林名声最响的两位杀手，男的名秋细雨，女的叫叶闲花，江湖人称“细雨闲花”。

　 诗人刘长卿曾用“细雨湿衣看不见，闲花落地听无声”来描述这两个可怕的杀手。细雨湿衣，湿衣的是鲜血；闲花落地，落地的是人头。这两人杀人来无影去无踪，如果他们想杀你，当你还没看到他们人影没听到他们声音的时候，你就已经死了。

　　秋细雨三天前接到一份帖子，指名要杀叶闲花。事成之后，不但有三百万两冥币，更可以让他在“红楼梦中人”选秀节目中担任曹雪芹的角色！

　　但是杀死叶闲花比杀死比尔还要困难得多。

　　江湖中没有一个人清楚叶闲花的武功来历，性格脾气，但是每个人都知道叶闲花的故事。

　　叶闲花有一双迷人的大眼睛，据说她曾一动不动地瞪死过赵薇和高圆圆，而那一年她才十七岁。

　　叶闲花声音有如黄莺般幽婉醉人，传说听过她说话后林志玲身体酥麻了整整一年，你说要不要命？

　　叶闲花轻功独步武林，踏雪无痕，落地无声，号称超过当年青翼蝠王韦一笑。有人见她上星期在高速公路上偷了刘翔奥运会入场证，刘翔追出一万公里最后被活活累倒。

　　一般人听到叶闲花的故事早就吓得去买尿不湿了，但是秋细雨没有去买。

　　秋细雨不是一般人。

　　他知道，杀人不但要靠技术，还要拼人品！

　　秋细雨很镇定，他正用一把指甲刀修整着手指甲，他的手指修长有力。

　　他要等待，等待对方先沉不住气。高手相争，不允许一丝一毫的失误，先沉不住气的人就会露出破绽。

　　致命的破绽！

　　因此秋细雨一言不发，只是静静地玩弄着指甲刀。

　　没想到叶闲花更是好整以暇，自己悠然自得地涂口红，喷香水。

　　秋细雨只好先发制人，道：“你知道我找你出来是为什么。”

　　叶闲花温柔道：“在我们动手之前，不能先谈谈么？”

　　秋细雨道：“我是来杀人的，不是来聊天的。”

　　叶闲花道：“你有把握杀我？”

　　秋细雨道：“我从不做没有把握的事情。”

　　叶闲花道：“我要提醒你一件事。”

　　秋细雨道：“你说。”

　　叶闲花道：“百晓生作杀手谱，小女子是杀手榜排名第一，阁下区区第二，你真能杀得了我么？”

　　秋细雨道：“我也要提醒你一件事。”

　　叶闲花道：“你说。”

　　秋细雨道：“论杀手实力，我本在你之前，只是那次排名百晓生采用了短信投票系统，中国‘花痴’人数过于庞大才让你得了第一。”

　　叶闲花的脸色一变，道：“我更要提醒你，我的粉丝团叫‘花粉’，不叫‘花痴’！”

　　秋细雨道：“我最后要提醒你，你的那些‘花粉’全都是花痴。还有，我们已经跑题了。”

　　叶闲花道：“我们这样拼命厮杀，你难道不怕麻烦么？”

　　秋细雨道：“你以后再也不用怕麻烦了，天下只有一种人永远不怕麻烦，死人！”

　　叶闲花道：“这么说你非逼我出手不可？”

　　秋细雨没有回答，他已不用回答。

　　秋细雨道：“亮兵器！”

　　叶闲花道：“我用刀。”

　　秋细雨道：“你用刀？刀在何处？”

　　叶闲花道：“我就是刀！”

　　叶闲花露出甜甜的笑容，忽然间褪下了自己的衣服，全身上下只剩下蕾丝比基尼和黑色丝袜。

　　叶闲花的脸美得让人窒息，再配上这样的身材，这样的服饰，充满了一种原始的诱惑力。

　　她的眼睛会说话，她的媚笑会说话，她的手，她的胸膛，她的腿……她身上每分每寸都会说话。

　　她知道，只要是个不瞎的男人，现在肯定会被她迷得神魂颠倒。

　　秋细雨是个男人，而且是个不瞎的男人。

　　可他现在却偏偏好像瞎了一样，完全无动于衷。

　　他知道，美丽的女人是一把刀，当你沉醉的时候，刀就会切进你的胸口。

　　秋细雨沉吟道：“我只想问你一件事。”

　　叶闲花娇笑着：“请讲。”

　　秋细雨道：“大夏天的，穿这么少你丫不怕蚊子叮啊？”

　　叶闲花沉默了半晌，幽幽地道：“你一定以为刚才我在喷香水，是不是？我告诉你，我喷的是六神花露水！”

　　叶闲花又道：“不过这不是普通的六神，是我特别提炼的药水，无色无味无毒，不过却会慢慢扩散在空气中，闻到它的人会四肢麻痹不能动弹。”

　　秋细雨一惊，忽然觉得身体已经麻木不听使唤，不由得一身冷汗。

　　叶闲花又道：“你以为我和你扯淡是因为我害怕，以为我脱掉衣服是想色诱你，其实这都是为了拖延时间让药水能扩散到你周围。”

　　秋细雨面上不动声色，道：“难道你自己不怕药水的厉害？”

　　叶闲花得意地道：“一开始我涂的口红就是解药，所以我仍然可以自由行动。”

　　叶闲花逼视着秋细雨，问道：“现在你还认为你能杀了我么？”

　　秋细雨道：“我能。”

　　叶闲花道：“你不能动而我能动，你却能杀了我，这不是很好笑么？”

　　秋细雨道：“是很好笑，但是你一定会被我杀死。”

　　叶闲花道：“为什么我会被你杀死？”

　　秋细雨忽然反问道：“飞刀能不能杀人？”

　　叶闲花道：“好像能。”

　　秋细雨道：“我有没有手？”

　　叶闲花道：“的确有。”

　　秋细雨道：“我手上有没有刀？”

　　叶闲花道：“你手上好像只有指甲刀。”

　　秋细雨道：“足够了。”

　　叶闲花道：“足够了？”

　　秋细雨道：“我有手有刀，就能置人死地。”

　　叶闲花道：“指甲刀也能杀人？实在可笑！”

　　秋细雨道：“以前江湖中有七十三个人觉得我这把指甲刀很可笑。”

　　叶闲花道：“现在呢？”

　　秋细雨道：“现在人都已死了，死在这把刀下。”

　　叶闲花道：“你的手还能动？”

　　秋细雨道：“你要不要试试？”

　叶闲花脸上的笑容渐渐凝固，忽然间，她已出手！

　　一招“冒牌九阴白骨爪”直逼秋细雨天灵盖，这一招她已练过七年四个月零二十九天，她完全有把握相信没有任何人可以抵挡得了这一招。

　　可这一次她错了。

　　刀光一闪，“盗版小李飞刀”已插入她的咽喉。

　　她到死也不相信，一把指甲刀可以要了她的命！

　　闲花终于落地！

　　三个时辰后，药水的药效渐渐淡去，秋细雨终于可以动弹了。

　　望着叶闲花的尸体，秋细雨道：“虽然你已经死了，但是我还要告诉你两件事。第一，我一直用甲刀修整着手指甲是为了调整手和刀之间的同步率，说白了就是找手感。第二，我杀你的真正目的不是为了钱或者名利。”

　一边说，秋细雨一边从叶闲花衣服的口袋里搜出了刘翔的奥运会入场证。

　　秋细雨坚定地说：“我爱北京，我要看奥运！”

alrights,
DO NOT BLAME ME. for not posting for so long... i've really been messed up with a lot a lot of stuffs. ><
oh well. gratz me, my DDR got onto 9 FEET! i passed my first 9 feeter song tat's DEAD END EXPERT. woooo hooooo! thanks to darling sam~!
today is RHD. came in school freaking early and i'm wearing malay cultural cloths. ROFL. do say hi to me when u see me xD

TO EVERYBODY~
hello and i'm BACK TO MY BLOG!! finally. after i 'm back from china and school has already started for 2 weeks. wooohoooo! i had a great great great great time in china. i just "founded" my brother. proudly present to you our neoprints!!!
he is 18, just finished A levels and is going to a university in china.yup. and semi quitted maple. i announce. yup and i really dun like C drama... =( still gotta go...
zzz. okay tat's it for today. <333 all who visit my blog! =)